Strange Suzhou Spring?

Last week it was bitterly cold. Rainy. Icy. There was even a slight spattering of snow one day. It truly seemed that we were at the start of a long winter.

Today I woke up bundled on my 6 layers of clothes. Hat. Scarf. Thermals. I braced myself for the chill of the outside. Stepped out with trepidation. And it was spring. Blue skies, warm air, people cycling on their bikes. Surreal. In each shop I went to I had to remove a layer of clothes as it was just too damn hot.

Global warming anyone?

Chinese Toilets

I have had my fair share of bizarre toilet experiences in China. In Beijing there's a mall that has toilets you go inside, close the door and you can see through the doors and walls to everyone OUTSIDE the toilet (slightly unsettling.) I have had to get off a crowded bus to pee on a motorway verge, in sight of the entire bus. People took photos of my giant, white bum and compared it excitedly in Chinese to the moon. And, of course, there have been the many hutong toilets - holes in the floor, no partitions or door around so you squat and watch everyone around pee. Lovely.

This week I went to the toilet at work. A normal toilet. Normal door. Normal walls. No one peeing beside me. I had my glasses tucked into the top of my shirt. As I leaned over to press the flush on the toilet, the glasses fell out and were sucked away. Sucked away. My. Very. Expensive. Glasses. Gone.

What do you do in that kind of situation? I laughed slightly hysterically. I ran out of the toilet, found Alan and shouted 'I've just flushed my glasses down the toilet! What do I do?' He looked at me like he didn't understand the words coming out of my mouth. I had a class to take. I ran along to the classroom, burst in the door and said 'I've just flushed my glasses down the toilet! What do I do?'

It turns out that this may be a situation that has never really happened before. No one knows what to do.

Toilet life seemed to go on as normal. The glasses were irretrievable in everyone's opinion. I was gutted.

Two days later I passed the offending toilet and noticed two ayis furiously plunging at the toilet. Later, a sign appeared stating the toilet was 'out of order'. I'll say. Then a mechanical pumping machine appeared and started churning water in the toilet. Signs appeared everywhere stating: 'please do not flush paper or tissues down the toilet.' What about glasses I thought?

The ayis said that people kept going to the toilet, kept flushing and it would block. They didn't know why. I tried explaining. It didn't translate. I gave up on the glasses.

About 5 days later I got an email: "Morning all, Anyone left a pair of Ray Ban glasses in the toilet (staff only) on the second floor? They are with me now." Surely they didn't mean IN the toilet?

They did. Smeared glasses were returned to me. I don't think I can ever wear them again.

Winter of Discontent

Suzhou winter has well and truly arrived. Suddenly. 

Two weeks ago I was cycling around in a pair of shorts and a vest and now I am wearing every piece of clothing I own while still inside my house. 

The Suzhou cold is not a Scottish cold. It's a cold that gradually sneaks into your bones and before you know it, you can never remember having been warm. Summer is a distant memory. IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS! In Scotland, houses have central heating and double glazing. Apparently that is unheard of Suzhou way. I don't know how. In so many ways China is futuristic and modern and ground-breaking but when it comes to heating: not so much. South of the Yangtze = not very much heating. North of the Yangtze = heating, but only after a certain day of the year specified by the government. All the flashy, modern apartments of Suzhou have all mod-cons. Bar heating. 

Some apartments have underfloor heating (not ours) but due to a current shortage of natural gas in China, you are only allowed a certain amount of gas every month to work it. If you run out, you aren't allowed to buy more. Otherwise, you have to turn your air conditioning unit onto 'hot'. You have to have it on all day to have any effect. If it's a particularly cold day, your bones stay cold and your face heats up like you've got a bad fever. The effect on your skin is not dissimilar to nuclear fallout (I expect.) Various other things are also working against us. When it rains, water pours in through the bathroom window. All our clothes are damp. There is a problem with our boiler which means that we have to keep the window beside our kitchen open ALL THE TIME. 

Coffee gets cold as soon as you pour it because the cups are so cold. I kid you not.

Hot water bottle central, 50 layers of clothes and a look out at the amazing view from our apartment and i'm sure the winter won't be too long. Please God.